We wrote a song! Sock Puppet One Star Google Review (Friends of Enron)
Sometimes the internet gives you gold. Sometimes it gives you a mystery one-star review from a "person" who does not exist, with a story that never happened, written in the style of someone who is trying a bit too hard. That is the vibe this song nails.
The band Friends of Enron has a track called "Sock Puppet One Star Review" which is basically a musical eye-roll at fake reviews and online drive-by attacks. If you run any kind of small business, or you have ever watched a competitor get "help" from suspicious accounts, you will instantly recognize it.
Watch the videos
The making of the song
If the embed does not load, view it on YouTube: youtube.com/shorts/OeAtZiT9bfA
Chord chart (as noted)
Below is the full lyric and chord sheet (author copy) as provided. This is included here with permission from the songwriters.
Songwriting credit: Lawrence Anderson and Tristam Price (Friends of Enron).
Sock Puppet One Star Review - Lawrence Anderson, Tristam Price Intro G A G A G A G V1 G C F# Bm ... He's rude... he swears G C F# Bm A ... He's rude... and he swears, I said G C F# Bm A ... He's rude... he swears ------- G A G A ... What's the deal with this guy? G A G ... What's the deal with this guy? ------ V2 G C F# Bm ... He's rude... he swears G C F# Bm A ... He's rude... and he swears... He's G C F# Bm A rude, he swears, only out for quick money for himself G A G A ... And then we find out, he's not even a G A G void Lawyer ------- Solo G C F# Bm G C F# Bm A G C F# Bm A G C F# Bm A (sparse) G C F# Bm G C F# Bm V3 G C F# Bm ... He's rude... he swears G C F# Bm ... He's rude... and he swears... He's G C F# Bm A rude, he swears, only out for quick money for himself G A G A ... And then we find out, he's not even a G A G A Lawyer... not even a G A G A Lawyer ------ Outro G A G A G A G A G7 G7 G
What a "sock puppet" review actually is
A "sock puppet" is a fake persona used to make something look real: a fake customer, a fake ex-client, a fake "local guide". The goal is usually to damage someone else's reputation or to prop up the reviewer (or the reviewer's mate, or the reviewer's business).
In practice, sock-puppet reviews often have the same tells:
- No real details (no date, no service, no identifiable interaction).
- Vague outrage that cannot be pinned down to a real event.
- Over-explaining to sound believable, but still saying nothing.
- New account / thin footprint, sometimes with a handful of reviews that look "manufactured".
If you get a suspicious one-star review, do this
If you run a business (or you are the target of online nastiness), here is the practical playbook:
- Do not explode in public. The reply box is not a courtroom. Keep your response short and calm.
- Ask for specifics. "Please email us with your name and date of engagement so we can locate your file and resolve this." If they are fake, they often disappear.
- Screenshot everything. Grab the review, the profile, the timestamp, any edits, and any connected profiles.
- Report it properly. Use the platform tools (Google Business Profile / YouTube / etc) and use accurate categories (fake engagement, harassment, conflict of interest).
- Push legitimate reviews. The best antidote is a steady stream of real feedback from real clients.
Why this matters in the real world
Reviews influence buying decisions, and they can influence employment decisions too. We have seen situations where employees, ex-employees, customers, and competitors all end up in the same online mess. Sometimes it is just ego and drama. Sometimes it is coordinated.
There is also a legal angle (depending on what is said, and who is behind it): misleading statements, reputational harm, and targeted harassment can cross lines. The first step is always evidence, and the second step is choosing a response that does not make things worse.
Credit
Song and videos: Friends of Enron (see the embedded YouTube links above).
